I Feel Like My Family Doesn’t Care About Me: What To Do?

I Feel Like My Family Doesn't Care About Me What To Do

Have there been any indications that your family doesn’t care about you?

Although we frequently equate the word “family” with love and caring, for many people, it conjures up mixed emotions.

You may tell whether your family is toxic by looking for these indications that they don’t care about you.

Your thoughts about your family may be primarily favorable, primarily negative, or a combination of the two.

How To Know Your Family Doesn’t Care You?

People have spoken to us and said, “I feel like my family doesn’t love me.” Or you could say, “My family doesn’t support me.” Also, “Why do I think my family doesn’t care about me.” Unfortunately, even in families with generally stable dynamics, not everyone is loved equally. Boys are valued more in some families and cultures. No support is given to girls. It is simple to feel unworthy or unloved.

It can be difficult to accept that someone you care about is just not into you when they make you feel awful. They might not even love you at all. You might believe it’s your fault or that there’s something seriously wrong with you. When do you know something you are feeling in your gut is real?

Signs Of I Feel Like My Family Doesn’t Care About Me

Ignore Your Boundaries

Limits are established between you and other people as a part of a healthy relationship. They are boundaries, stop signs, and signals that let other people know what is and isn’t appropriate behavior for you.

The boundaries you’ve set up to keep you safe are routinely disregarded or disregarded by families who don’t care about one another.

An illustration could be a parent who frequently drops by unannounced despite your repeated requests for them not to. See if you start to feel guilty for stating your needs once you ask them to call ahead. The family members who listen to you and make changes genuinely care.

Dismiss Or Invalidate Your Feelings

As an illustration, consider entangled family members who frequently call you to help them relax when they’re upset but never check in to see how you’re doing.

When my clients finally mustered the courage to tell their families about their experiences with abuse, they were met with shock, disbelief, or ridicule.

Yes, families are important but if you find yourself regretting every time you vulnerably share with them, it could be a sign your family is unhealthy.

You Are Feel Guilty For Stating Your Needs

If your family doesn’t respect your needs, they will assume you always put them last and expect you to always fall in line.

When your family explicitly states that they don’t care about you, that is one of the telltale signs that they don’t.

For instance, you might tell your father that you really need career advice because you’re struggling at work.

Let’s say you’ve been experiencing some minor meltdowns due to the work crisis you’re going through and you’ve been feeling a little stressed out. However, your father only wants you to stop talking; he doesn’t understand what you’re going through or feel the same way.

He dismisses it and claims that he has more pressing concerns, such as his upcoming fishing trip and your sister’s health issues, than he does about your never-ending work-related problems.

What else is one supposed to make of it?

Perhaps he views it as tough love, but to the rest of us, it appears to be just plain heartless.

Relationships are difficult, that much is true.

But when it comes to relationships, you might be surprised to hear that there’s one very important connection you’ve probably been overlooking:

a connection you have with yourself 

The shaman Rudá Iandê taught me about this. In his incredible, free video on cultivating healthy relationships, he gives you the tools to plant yourself at the center of your world.

And once you begin doing that, there’s no telling how much happiness and fulfillment you can discover both within yourself and with your family relationships. 

So what makes Rudy’s advice so profoundly transformative? 

He does, however, add his own contemporary twist to the shamanic techniques that he employs. Despite the fact that he is a shaman, he has struggled with love just like you and I have.

And by combining these ideas, he was able to pinpoint the areas in which most of us make mistakes in our relationships, including those with close relatives. 

So if you’re tired of your relationships never working out, of feeling undervalued, unappreciated, or unloved, this free video will give you some amazing techniques to change your love life around. 

Create the change today and cultivate the love and respect you know you deserve. 

Click here to watch the free video. 

Any Attempt To Communicate Is Met With Mockery Or Dismissal

When you can’t communicate with your family, it’s one of the most obvious signs that they don’t care about you.

You’re treated like a ghost at home.

Your calls are not returned and you are given second-class treatment if you reside elsewhere.

When you do get in touch with them or capture their interest for a brief period of time, you feel dismissed.

Something about you, or how they see you, seems to make them feel as though you are not worth their time or effort.

And it hurts, of course.

They Find A Thousand Ways To Tell You You’re Not Good Enough

I believe that healthy criticism and even familial pressure has its place:

On career,

On love,

regarding choices made by individuals.

Just going to be a little more traditional about that.

However, I do not believe in your family undercutting you and basically finding constant new ways to let you know you’re not good enough.

This occasionally fits into a pattern. Your parents or siblings may have had beliefs ingrained in their minds that made them feel inferior, and they unintentionally projected those beliefs onto you as well.

They might not even be aware of how damaging and demeaning their words and deeds are to you. However, just like the rest of us, you could use some support and a teammate.

Which is why being told you’re not good enough makes you just want to curl up in a ball and disappear (please don’t do that, I like you, I promise…)

In some situations as well there is a specific member of your family who has a problem with you. They may have another problem, or perhaps bad things happened in the past.

This is something that Michelle Devani examines in this article, where she claims that a toxic family member will “talk about your weakness and speak disdainfully when talking about your personality.””

Her advice?

“Do not be deterred by this behavior; spending time with family members who behave in this manner is not worthwhile.”

Your Family Doesn’t Help At All With Your Career & Life Choices

Also relevant is the general lack of support.

We devote time and effort to those we care about, right?

How can you believe that your parents, siblings, cousins, uncles, and aunts care about you if they treat you like a prop?

as a hypothetical notion?

You are a person with a life, just like the rest of us.

Simply put, they don’t seem to care about what you do or the issues you’re facing, which is one of the top indicators that your family doesn’t care about you.

They seem to be unable to get even the most basic advice, despite the fact that you would be happy to offer it to them right away.

It feels bad, man.

As I mentioned earlier, one of those who’s really helped me find breakthroughs in my life is th shaman Rudá Iandé and I found his teachings on empowering ourselves especially helpful. 

Many of us have been socialized with ideas and frameworks for life that, while meant to be supportive, actually make us feel helpless and unprepared for challenging choices. 

But as Rud also discovered on his journey that we can learn to overcome things like a toxic family background only after we tap into a very simple yet effective tool inside of ourselves.

Gaslight You

People start to doubt reality when they are gaslighted, a manipulative tactic. An abusive partner might strike you and then deny that it ever happened, for instance. 

Family members who try to pull the same stunt with you are pitiful and not worth a fig. Gaslighting is a heinous crime. You should seek therapy to repair the harm if you believe you have been the victim of gaslighting for a long time. Please believe us when we say: It’s them, not you!

Apologies Are Delivered With a Spoonful of Snark

Being able to apologize with sincerity is a sign of maturity. Undoubtedly, younger people find this skill difficult. After all, the human brain doesn’t fully mature until our late 20s.

But people who reach their 30s and still have trouble saying “I’m sorry” are usually pathologically self-absorbed or have narcissistic personality disorder. 

Try your best to ignore the petty behavior of your family members if you have any. It will benefit you, so do it. When adults can’t even muster a polite apology, their actions are worthy of an eye roll. Don’t waste your time with them.

You’re Not Included in Family Events

Do you hate it when your family excludes you? If so, congrats—you’re a well-adjusted person! It is unpleasant to be the odd one out. Don’t take it personally if your family treats you this way, though. Try your best to persevere even though it’s difficult. 

People simply don’t get along from time to time, and just because you’re different from them doesn’t make you a bad person. Everyone has a “heart home,” and while finding one might take some time, you’ll eventually find it.

They’re Hyper-Competitive

Dealing with intensely competitive people can be a nightmare, especially if your personality type tends to be more laid-back. It is not only draining, but it also adds a ton of stress and tension. 

When your family acts in this manner toward you, they might be trying to tell you that they’re more interested in beating you than helping you.

They Lie

Practical issues and a great deal of heartache can result from lying. And while everyone tells little white lies to get by or spare people’s feelings, huge lies are a different matter. It’s possible that your parents or other family members don’t care about you as much as they should if they lie to you frequently to make themselves look or feel better.

I Feel Like My Family Doesn't Care About Me What To Do
I Feel Like My Family Doesn’t Care About Me: What To Do?

Try To Control You

Family members who try to control you don’t respect your independence. While it’s true that parents have a right to exert some control over their children, there are times when this right is overstepped.

It’s not good parenting to threaten kids with disownment or punish them with silent treatment. Things get worse when other family members chastise you for defying your parents’ wishes. Consider talking to a guidance counselor at school if this is happening to you. They may have something to offer.

Reinforces The Most Self-sabotaging Parts Of You

The tendency to reinforce your worst self-sabotaging traits is among the worst indications that your family doesn’t care about you.

A person can be brought low in an infinite number of ways, especially when it’s friendly fire, including by your self-doubt, depression, or even insecurity about your weight or body type.

We can’t be overly sensitive and allow other people’s criticism to break our spirits or strike deeply at our sense of worth.

But at the same time, it’s totally understandable that having the people you care about reinforce or mock the very things that make you anxious makes you feel bad.

They Fail To Give Time For You

Time is the one thing we can never get back; it is both our most valuable and limited resource. I believe that when loved ones repeatedly let you down by failing to make time for you, being there for you during your most crucial life events, or by simply being there because you miss them, that is when you will know they don’t care as much about you as you would like them to.

They have more important things to do with their time, so if that’s what they choose to do, then you should accept that they are prioritizing those things over you right now.

Assessing your relationship and how you personally handle them is necessary for dealing with your pain in a healthy way.

Do you prioritize them the way you would want others to prioritize you? Do you let them know it’s important to you?

Having an honest and open conversation would be challenging, but it would be worth the risk of exposing yourself to potential further suffering.

Putting forth the effort to communicate fairly means the possibility of saving that relationship, and it is healthier than it has ever been. Many people end up living in their own bubble where they don’t realize they’re hurting you.

And if that doesn’t work, at least you’ll know you gave it your best shot, tried, and won’t look back when you leave that relationship and find someone more deserving of your affection.

What To Do?

You’ve demonstrated that there’s no perfect fit between you and your family. Now what?

Seek Therapy

Therapy is often a wonderful, fruitful journey for many people. Thanks to a counselor’s assistance, thousands of people have survived trying situations. If things in your family are bad, think about getting help.

Look into public health options if your insurance doesn’t cover psychological services. Consider using online therapy instead, which frequently costs less than in-person sessions. You should speak with the school counselor if you are a student.

Do Separation Ritual

A separation ritual is something that many people find helpful, though it might sound a little too woo-woo for some. You can adopt customs from your culture or religion or create your own!

It works as long as it gives you a sense of closure. You deserve a little magic in your life, plus rituals are entertaining.

Tighten ties with your friend circle

Develop closer bonds with your friends if you’re fortunate enough to have any that you consider to be family. It will assist you in shifting your attention away from the void in your family relationships.

Friends can’t—or at least shouldn’t—replace family, but it’s OK and good to occasionally turn to those who value you rather than dealing with more unfavorable and dismissive behavior from those who ought to have your back.

Because none of us have perfect families and because everyone has experienced various family issues, prioritizing friends for a while has another advantage.

Being around your friends can help you learn useful tips and insights about how to handle family issues that come from actual experience, not just theoretical knowledge.

Tell them you love them

Even though it’s ridiculously corny, there are times when it works.

Say you love their sorry asses to the condescending, cruel old buggers.

Okay, that didn’t quite come out right.

But you know, go for the whole shebang. Lay all your emotions out, hug it out, cry it out, shout it out, storm out of the room and say you’ll never talk to them again…

Oh no, not that!

However, if you really want to show them your love, just tell them that you feel invisible and that no one pays attention to you.

Cultivate Self-Love

It’s much simpler to deal with life when you love yourself. Self-love gives you confidence and compassion — for both yourself and others.

As a result, if your family is not there to support you, you must take care of yourself. Cultivate self-esteem and share it with safe people.

Accept Situation

Accepting the realities of your family dynamics is necessary before you can move on to a life filled with people you love and who love you back.

Skipping this step can lead to a variety of issues down the road, from addiction problems to severe depression.

Make Own Family

It’s time to take charge of your life and create your own family once you’ve accepted your bad luck with regards to blood relatives. How do you do that?

Be amiable, considerate, and truthful. Join groups that revolve around your interests or use platforms like meetup.com. You’ll eventually find your niche, though it might take some time.

Which Behaviors Indicate A Toxic Family?

Contrary to popular belief, toxic families are much more prevalent. Notably, statistics indicate that 70% to 80% of Americans consider their family to be dysfunctional.

Toxic clans are usually characterized by an inability to care for and love one another.

It can be challenging to realize that your family isn’t a good fit, but millions of people have overcome this obstacle.

You can, too, if you have a little self-assurance, courage, and perspective.

There is a family out there for everyone, always keep that in mind. 

They won’t necessarily be blood or adoptive relatives to you, but they’ll still love you despite everything.            


It depends on your childhood as well as your family’s current circumstances.

The notion that I feel like my family doesn’t care about me is alien to many people. It would seem impossible to not love a family member. Others, however, must accept it as a sad fact or as a result of a desire for self-preservation. Basically, while it isn’t common, it does happen that family members get distant from their members and become unavailable for assistance.